dear diary,
i am very sad today. i finally accept that my new interest doesn’t find me interesting anymore. its so saddening and i feel absolutely foolish. i thought i saw all the right signs. like he was the one to approach me, he was the one to always text me first, he was the one always doing silly things n saying funny things to make me laugh. i bloody didn’t even consider him until he started talking to me on a regular basis.
yes he’s irritating at times, yes he’s terribly childish at times and yes he’s absolutely mean w words at times. but then there’s like this other soft side to him. the side that will show concern to a female colleague going home alone late at night. the side that will be gentlemanly and carry the heavy stuffs. the side that will bother to reply texts promptly with sincere replies. the side that will offer to pick u up on the way and send you home after, the side that will share secrets and sit very close till our bodies touch.
so thinking that i seen all the signs, i take the initiative too and meet with all kinds of stupid walls. like for instance watching a movie. initially he will say ok, then now he completely refuses to watch w me. or for instance lunch/dinner, initially he will approach me to dine together but now he also completely refuses dining alone w me. or for instance going home, initially he will ask if im leaving too so we can leave together. it is absolutely frustrating. my girlfriend says he was toying with my feelings. n now that the thrill is gone, he’s not interested anymore. @#$#%^
i want to speak to him. i want to confront him. but what would be the result of that?? nothing good… so i shall just let it slide and stop initiating contact lor. what to do just suck thumb lah n remind myself not to be so zealous n over-excited and misread things the next time. HAIZ what a short spring fling this turned out to be manz… i was hoping for something more long term, more stable but i ended up with a short stick… SIGH.
