we still talk like normal, but perhaps i am being oversensitive, i feel he is super cutting down on hanging out with me alone. and if we hang out in a group, he always keeps a distance. why must he do that? for my sake or his?
i feel this big void between us which i don’t know how to fix. all i can do is ignore it and try my best to reach him, but he chooses to wall himself up when im near him. =(
i still want him as a friend. i enjoy his company, enjoy his crappy jokes, enjoy his silly facial expressions and his grouchiness. Most times, i try my darndest to keep him in perpetual grumpiness just for entertainment. But now i don’t get this kind of chance anymore cos he is distancing himself from me.
What should i do? should i tell him to stop acting weird, or should i just leave him be and hope he comes to realise one day that having him as a friend makes me more than happy?
last night was unreal. i was simultaneously imagining how things will be like if i didn’t tell him. would he be more at ease if he didn’t know? would i have enjoyed his company more? but last night was actually quite enjoyable. i never felt more popular in the last 2 years. i was acting non-chalant. like i didn’t care. but actually i was stealing glances at him occasionally, hoping last night will help him realise that I LIKE HIM but not to the point of OBSESSION. i can still function like normal with other friends, with other guys.
but can i really? ha.. i was supposed to go out tonight, but i was just not in the mood. and im not in the mood because i didn’t get to speak to him today.
ppffftt… i don wan him to be uncomfortable. perhaps i should give us some time apart. like not speak to him anymore for a while. sigh the thought jus sucks… =(
